


Hell is a place on earth without you

by frostbite



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, Love, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Snow, Winter, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1898787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostbite/pseuds/frostbite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fast forward, here we lie awake and barely breathing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell is a place on earth without you

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr at narryfrost! Thanks for reading xoxo

"Harry, love, wake up." Niall's sleepy voice fills the silence of the room, Harry hesitantly cracks his eyes open a yawn quickly forming in the back of his throat. "Whaaaat?" Harry cries, looking at the digital alarm that sits beside them blinking green, 3:39 am. "You said we had to leave by four," Niall says, snuggling closer to the younger boy. Harry blinks a few times and rubs his eyes, his throat is soar and his head is pounding already. "Ni, I feel absolutely awful, can't we postpone?" 

The room is dark, but Harry knows Niall has a frown on his face. 

"Haaaaz," Niall whines, "but m'all dressed and packed. What's wrong?" Harry rolls on his side, running his fingers through his curls that seem to have fallen all over the place in his sleep. He cringes against the pain in his throat, "I reckon i've become ill with whatever Zayn had. That bastard," Harry says and Niall just sighs and scoots back a bit. "Well, mum's only going to be here for a few days and I have to go." Harry shakes his head, "love, I feel absolutely awful. Theres no way I can make the trip. I'm sorry," Niall bites along the inside of his cheek, tracing his long, pale fingers up and down Harry's arm. "Well, how about I go up now with Alayna and you just rest and if you feel better later or maybe by tomorrow morning you can drive up?" 

Harry stays silent for a few minutes, outside the window snow falls slowly, twinkling against the orange glare of the street lights. "You know I don't like you driving when the roads are bad." 

"Harry, babe, the roads aren't even bad. plus we've got good tires, don't worry. Me and Alayna will be fine, alright? What you need to think about is getting better and making it up there." Harry's hesitant, but finally he nods his head, his eyes becoming heavier by the second. "Alright, be careful, yeah?" Niall nods his head, "you know I always am." Harry smiles a bit, letting his sleepy-stage take over. "I love you," Harry mutters, his voice falling flat by the end. Niall leans in pressing a quick kiss to his lips, "love you too, Haz. I'll give bug a kiss for you. Feel better baby."

And just like that, he's gone. 

"I'm so sorry, Mr.Styes. My condolences are with you at this time," the officers voice drifts through the phone but Harry's far too stunned to understand a word he says. "If there is anything we can do for you, please don't hesitate to give us a call." 

And that's when Harry's world really breaks, everything around him shatters like glass all at once. Tiny shards pricking into his arms and legs, everything seems to close around him, almost suffocating-- _almost._ That's when he screams, and there's a hole beginning to develop in the wall from how hard he threw the phone. Dishes are broken, the doors are all open and all Harry can do is sit in the middle of it all and cry, shaking his head and asking to wake up from this fucking _nightmare._

He finally passes out on the floor, glass and parts of a broken telephone surround him. He dreams of a field, where Niall and Alayna sit surrounded by flowers, Alayna loved flowers. 

Harry surrounded her gravestone with flowers, pink and red roses, purple lilacs, white daffodils and yellow and orange tulips. 

His mum calls him every other day, checks on him and makes sure he's okay-- well, not dead. She says a prayer on the phone, and their conversation goes foreign. 

"What ever happened?" She asks, " _how_ did it happen?" Theres a long, dead silence that fills between the two. 

"They said he was hit head on, something about a large truck skidding over ice-- pinning them against a tree."

"How did they look?" 

"Bad."

And their conversation dies out shortly after, they exchange few words and shushed _I love you's_ and then Harry makes a terrible excuse of having laundry to do, something they both knew wouldn't happen. He almost hangs up when his mum stops him. "Please go talk to someone, love. It'll be good for you."

"Goodbye mum."

And it's a week and a half that flies by, and Harry's sat in one of those awfully uncomfortable chairs in a light colored office. Theres a woman sat across from him, a clip board in her hand. "How long has it been?" She asks, her red lips are neon against the white walls. Harry wonders how often she has to reapply it. 

"Two months, three days, four hours and thirteen minutes." Harry mumbles, looking down his nail beds are bitten up and his nails are short and brittle, he's tired. The bags underneath his eyes prove that. 

"Do you still have their things?" She asks, Shannon is her name. Shannon with the red lips and long black nails. "Of course," Harry's answer is quick, he's offended she even asks that question. "Packed away?" 

"I haven't moved a thing." Harry says back, and it's true. Everything is the same, Alayna's toys are still on the floor, Niall's mug is still on the counter stained from the coffee he'd had before they left. "Nothing?" Shannon asks, writing something down on the paper. Harry nods his head, opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "Doesn't that seem a little, _odd_ to you? A very unhealthy behavior." Harry doesn't care, not one bit. 

"Harry do you have friends?" 

"I suppose," he replies, bringing his fingers up to his mouth biting at the skin around his nails. "Have you gone out since that night?"

"I'm here aren't I?"

"No, I mean out. With other people, without being forced."

"No."

Shannon writes down something else, looking between the paper and him. She's judging him, he knows this already. It's okay though, he doesn't mind. "You need to go out, find an old friend and just go get your mind off everything. Just for an hour or two, it'll be good for you." Harry swallows hard, shaking his head a bit. "Do you think Niall would've wanted you to be like this? Would Alayna have wanted her father to be like this?" 

Fuck. 

xo

"Have another one, mate." Zayn's voice chirps from beside him. Harry nods his head, he's smiling so big his face hurts. The alchocal burns down slowly, sitting in his chest-- it's nice to feel something. He takes another shot, doesn't bother to ask what it is, just makes a request for it to be strong. And another, and another, and another. 

"Mate I can't let you drive," Zayn slurs, leaning between the door and where Harry is sitting in the drivers seat, everything is foggy, theres still snow on the ground. "M'fine." Harry says back, his breath appears like a cloud out in front of him. It's cool, he thinks. 

"I can't, Harry." 

"I'll call you the second I get home." 

"I love you mate." 

Harry takes off, the radio is low against the sound of the snow crunching beneath the tires. Harry's watching the road, gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles are white, almost as white as the snow that surrounds him. Its then that his whole world seems to spin, in fast circles and he hears Alayna's laugh, it's a good feeling. He closes his eyes, her laugh gets closer, surrounding him. He smiles finally. 

_"Harry, love, wake up."_


End file.
